I think that Maxwell is sending me a subliminal message about how to live my life. As I have mentioned before, I have received a lay-off notice after 25 years at the Sacramento Superior Court. That feeling of standing on the brink of a new discovery, of a new chance at life, both thrills and frightens me. My passion for such a long time now has not been my work at the Court. It has been to learn and teach history. Maybe not teach in the traditional way, behind the podium in a classroom, but somehow to share my love of the past with others and hopefully inspire people to feel the same. I am certain deep down in my bones that this, guiding others to a love of history, is my purpose in life. The only question is how to get to the point where I am doing just that--and how to support myself and my daughters in the process.
What does this have to do with Maxwell--or Max, as I like to call him (feeling close to him now)? Well, Max doesn't just sit back and wait for that "pure adrenalin." He hops on the zip line and lets himself feel and enjoy every second of the ride. It must be scary, hanging by a thread over mountainous terrain. But Max feels the wind in his face, and he lets the whole world hear his exhilaration as he experiences both the thrill and the fear.
Logic dictates that I should be frightened, desperate, and anxious at this point in my life--and this is what most of those close to me expect me to feel. And sometimes I do get nagging little pangs of those emotions coursing through my veins. But I'm going to live it like Max. I will set my face into the wind, watch my pinwheels spin, and holler "wee weeeeee weee" all the way home. Look out world, here I come.
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