I PASSED MY COMPS

So sorry to shout in my title, but this is a big deal.  On Friday, after six months' study and preparation, I took the final component of my comprehensive Ph.D. exams--the oral part.  I had completed the written portion of the exam last Monday (was it really just a week ago?), and I thought I was prepared for the oral component of the exam.  Yeah, I totally wasn't.  It was BRUTAL!!  Like giving-birth-to-Heidi-without-an-epidural brutal.  After just over an hour of grilling, I was asked to step out into the hallway to wait while my committee members, Dr. F., Dr. H. (via Skype), and Dr. B. "deliberated" my future as a graduate student.  Failing comps means not being able to proceed to a dissertation.  My future was riding on this "deliberation."

Naturally, I was chock full of emotions as I began to pace the long sixth-floor hallway.  I felt the tears coming as the minutes seemed to drag by.  Bernie, the department secretary, happily had tissue on her desk.  I wasn't bawling or anything, but I couldn't stop the tears.  When Dr. Feller opened the door of the conference room, he hollered "Yoo Hoo" down the hall to get my attention.  I don't know what the look on my face said, but as I got closer to him, he said "I wouldn't have beckoned you with 'yoo hoo' if it were bad news."  Then there was congratulations--and more tears.  The stress of six months' work was suddenly being lifted from my shoulders.  I was totally in a daze.

So, I am now Lorraine Dias Herbon, B.A., M.A., A.B.D.  For those of you keeping score at home, A.B.D. stands for "All but Dissertation."  This means that I've got the go-ahead to proceed with my dissertation.  I'm not going to write about my topic right now; while Dr. F. has given me the go-ahead, I still haven't spoken to the other members of what I hope will be my dissertation committee. 

While I was hugged and congratulated by friends on the fifth floor, the magnitude of what I had just accomplished did not sink in right away.  I called my dad and Yvette and gave them the news, but I couldn't really get excited about it.  I left campus and went home to the Tiny Flat still feeling weird and unexcited.  I decided to re-watch a portion of a Grey's Anatomy episode from a few weeks ago.  In this episode, the lead character, Dr. Meredith Grey, wins an award that she and her fellow surgeons have worked toward since the first season of the show.  Somehow, watching Meredith win her Harper Avery Award flipped a switch in me.  Suddenly, I was able to see my victory over my comprehensive exams as identical to winning a Harper Avery Award.  Then, and only then, did the euphoria set in.

The weekend that followed my very own Harper Avery Award was a weird one.  The news that David Cassidy was on his deathbed was a blow to my teenage self, even at the same time as my sister's teenage self was ecstatic over a Twitter response from David's half-brother, Shaun Cassidy.  I found myself no longer enjoying NASCAR, which, for me, has finally "jumped the shark."  With the retirements of Jeff Gordon, Tony, Danica, and Junior, I'm pretty much done as an every-week fan, although I will continue to keep an eye out for Elk Grove's favorite son, Kyle Larson.  At the same time, my man Smoke will be racing in New Zealand in December and will be back in his sprint car come next spring.   And, balancing out the sad news of the death of David Cassidy and that of Grandpa Huxtable is the good news that Charles Manson now resides in hell (no longer a burden on the taxpayers of California), where even the Devil must look askance at Manson's level of evil.
 
So, the next chapter of my quest for a Ph.D. beings today.  I'll begin compiling a working bibliography on my subject, start to identify where I might need to go for primary source research, look into the dos and don'ts of writing a prospectus, etc.  In the meantime, I'll have a lot to be thankful for this coming Thursday.  While I won't be with my family in California, I'll be joining good friends for a feast here in Knoxville. I'm thankful for my job here at the McClung Museum--see the picture below for the gift I received from my boss Lindsey in recognition of my Harper Avery Award.  I'm thankful that my friend and classmate, Josh, is doing well with cancer treatment.  I'm thankful for the show Grey's Anatomy for giving me a frame of reference for my recent good fortune.  I'm thankful that I have parents, family, and friends who support my academic efforts.  I'm thankful for my BFFs, Chantalle, Brenda, Yvette (who will help me consume my congratulatory gift from Lindsey).  And, mostly, I'm thankful for Maddie and Heidi, who bring joy to each and every day of my life.

Cheers from Knoxville!