I'm calling this week Hell Week, although it actually started last week and will run through this Saturday. As usual for April in grad school, everything seems to speed up. Papers are due, undergrads are scrambling--hell, there were even a few classes visiting the museum. For me and my pals, this week brought lots of commotion as the History Department scheduled two big events for consecutive days. But let's begin at the beginning, with last Friday.... (weird harp music as we travel back in time)
I woke last Friday morning with one thought in mind. I was determined NOT to go to the Tennessee-Kentucky Consortium meeting that night. It had been a though week already. I had finished my prospectus and submitted it to the Director of Graduate Studies, Dr. P. Let me pause here to say that she is one of the finest professors in this university. Firm but fair, she's always looking out for her grad students. Anyway, finishing what turned out to be a 30-page document was pretty grueling. Trying to make my dissertation project sound meaningful did not come easily to me--and I do actually believe in the importance of my project for the field of American history. By Friday, after all that work, I was just plain tuckered out. But, as I am being a good girl about walking, I went out at lunch time to take a lap around the campus.
On my way down Volunteer Boulevard, I ran into Good Josh (so named as to distinguish him from the several other Joshes in the department). This wonderful fellow was my lifeline when he and I were teaching assistants for Dr. O. He's been busy beating off brain cancer for the last year, and it is so wonderful to have him back in Knoxville and on the mend. He was on his way to meet another of our colleagues for lunch, so he decided to take part of my walk with me. We chattered like old pals, and I was reminded of how much I like and admire this guy. Well, as fate would have it, he's one of two of our group who was organizing the UT-UK Consortium meeting. After walking with him, I realized I couldn't ditch the evening get-together and disappoint him. Damnit! It was off to the East Tennessee Historical Society for me.
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| The section on early twentieth century Knoxville was one of my favorites in the museum. The drug store exhibit was wonderful |
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| East Tennessee hero Alvin York has his own exhibit right now because of the centenary commemorations of WWI |
I hadn't been to the ETHS before, although it has strong ties to the history department, and my friend Annie had worked there for quite a while. It's actually a lovely place, good museum, nice conference room. The folks from Kentucky were all very nice, a few of whom I had met last year when they had hosted the first meeting of the Consortium in Lexington. In the end, I did not have a terrible time.
My weekend after that was lovely. Weather was nice enough for a long walk on Saturday. Sunday morning was the F1 race with Robert and Katie. Monday, and it was back to the grind, with a belly full of nerves about the beginning of the true Hell Week. Monday and Tuesday brought classes to the museum, so I was able to do my meet-and-greet with them and introduce them to the temporary exhibht, Pick Your Poison, which is about America's longstanding relationship with intoxicants and stimulants (alcohol, cigarettes, marijuana, opium, and cocaine). Wednesday afternoon brought in Dr. L.'s European history class, for which I got to present a fallout shelter sign. So far, so good.
But, sadly Wednesday evening came. Again, there was an event that I wanted to ditch. I've gone to the department awards ceremony every year since I got here, and every year it's the same thing. The same scholars win the same awards, and the rest of us just sit there and clap. But, after having given my pal Vesty a lecture on how we all need to show up at department functions, I couldn't very well ditch. So, off I went. Two of my former undergrad students received awards, and I was so very happy to see that. Then the graduate student awards began, and the first one goes to one of the students who always wins stuff. So, I assumed it was going to be yet another year of watching these same people win these same awards. Then Dr. P. began announcing the Walkup-Thurman Award for best research paper on an antebellum/Civil War topic. Dr. P. said that the winner had not only passed her comprehensive exams but managed to write a paper that Dr. F. had pronounced as "nearly journal ready." I knew then that it was going to be either me, Tess, or Minani, as we all work in that time field, we're all girls, and we all passed our comps. When Dr. P. mentioned the name of the paper, I turned to Vesty sitting next to me because I couldn't really believe it.
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| Unbe-fucking-lieveable! |
My Jessie paper, thanks to Dr. F., my fearless leader, won the prize. I floated six inches above the ground for the next several hours. It meant so much to me to be acknowledged by the department. The fact that the award is funded to commemorate two young men who died in service to their country just made it all that much sweeter.
So, that piece of Hell Week didn't actually turned out too badly. Then came Thursday, and all the glitter of my Oscar-winning moment faded away in the face of the prospectus presentation I had to give to the entire department. There were five of us presenting, but I was going first due to conflicts in Dr. F.'s schedule. So, I spoke for eight minutes about my dissertation project. I looked out to see the smiling faces of Katie, Robert, and my former officemate, Brad, and it really helped so much. In fact, everyone in that audience looked friendly and supportive, except for one instructor. This person, I swear to God, mean-mugged me through my presentation. Then, this instructor was one of the first to raise a hand after I was done speaking. One question asked was completely appropriate, and honestly raised an issue that I hadn't thought through. The other question was completely inappropriate and aggressive, to me at least, and it was all I could do to smile and answer nicely. As I took my seat after answering questions, I felt completely screwed over--and not in the good way.
My fellow presenters all have amazing projects, and everyone spoke so well and presented their research in such a polished and professional manner. Unfortunately, Dr. Mean-Mugger proved just as tough on another of my colleagues so that I then felt angry as well as ashamed and embarrassed.
Afterwards, Tess, Minami, and I (we're all that's left of the Americanists in our cohort) consoled ourselves with a trip to Sgt. Pepperoni's for dinner. Chicken salad really did help smooth over the wounds, as did the sugar-free ice cream (one cup) I allowed myself when I got home.
Today, Hell Week continues, but it won't be so bad. I'll be attending the dissertation writing workshop this afternoon, where I will also get feedback on my prospectus. This will be from my peers, and I expect to get some good ideas from them. Tomorrow is a mini-conference, again at ETHS, on the topic of the Tennessee frontier during the American Revolution. Its not my time period or particular interest, but Michael is coming down from his job at Lincoln Memorial University to give a presentation. I wouldn't miss seeing Michael for the world.
So, by Friday afternoon, this iteration of Hell Week will be complete. One more hurdle with my prospectus, the actual defense with my committee members, will be May 2 (yes, my wedding anniversary to my beloved paper husband). That, too, does not scare me as much, as I feel well supported by all three members. I'm sure it will be tough, and they'll give feedback that may scare me a little, but it will all come from a good place and be designed to help me produce the best dissertation I can.
Anyway, that's all the news from Knoxville. See ya....
