Mama Bad Mood

It seems as though every time I write a blog, I write it like Mary F'ing Poppins.  I'm always in a good mood, my week has always been great, blah, blah, blah.  Well, today I decided to reflect on what a bad day looks like.

Let's start with proofreading.  Sunday night, I turned in a paper for Dr. M's class on capitalism and slavery.  Oh, happy me. Today, I had to print out a copy, along with copies of papers turned in by my classmates.  What do I find?  Friggin' type-os in mine!!!  Ugh, I didn't proofread in my usual read-it-out-loud-style, and this is my punishment.  Then, during class, when we discussed the book I'd written the paper on--well, I don't think my description of the book, my idea of what worked well in the book, and my criticism of the book were at all well founded.  In other words, I'm a dumb bunny who just doesn't get it and can't f'ing proofread.

Grading comes next.  On Friday, my students turned in their first papers of the semester.  I gave six examples of my grading to Dr. O to look over.  God, I was awful.  I was too harsh on writing mechanics, I missed where a student called a memoir a novel, etc.  Now I have to provide three more samples before he'll let me go off and grade on my own.  And its not like I haven't graded before!

Oh, yes, let's not forget job talks.  It seems that the department is hiring some new professors.  This means that the final four candidates present talks on their research.  While not "mandatory" per se, it is "highly recommended" that grad students attend.  The morning after such talks, there is then a meeting between the grad students and the candidate in a more informal setting.  We're expected at those as well.  Now, I like to be a good girl, and I'm well aware of how important it is to be seen at department functions.  So, I've trotted off to every job talk and to every grad student meeting that I can, barring times when I'm teaching. But not everybody seems to feel that their attendance is necessary.  Some grad students come once in a while, to maybe one or two out of the eight meetings expected.  So, that makes me mad (even though I should just mind my own damn business).  Then, to add insult to injury, after having gotten through the four candidates for the Eastern European/Russian scholar, we have now received notification of job talks and meetings with the four candidates for the Africanist job.  Too much, I tell you!!

Now let's take a look at the state of my health today.  For the past several days, I've had such sinus congestion that I've wanted to take my whole head off and toss it into the trash (not a bad idea anyway since I'm such a dumb bunny).  I don't have any other cold or flu symptoms, just a stuffy nose.  Disease is flying around the entire Knoxville region, with Knox County schools closed today and tomorrow before too many students and teachers are sick.  Oh, yeah, and the stuffy  nose keeps from sleeping very well.  Well, that and the leg sweats which plague me whenever I'm stressed.  Oh, and I'm stressed all the time.  Let's not forget, too, the ways in which Smoke contributes to my lack of sleep.  Yesterday, at about 5:30 a.m., he sat down beside my head and started playing with my hair.  It was almost as if someone were running a real sharp comb across my head.  Nice way to treat your mama, Smoke!

There, I got all that off my chest.  And when I go back and read my blogs about Tennessee and my time here, I won't think it was all fun and games.  The work I'm doing here is hard, demanding, time-consuming, and stressful.  I'm fortunate to have a terrific adviser in Dr. F and to have so many wonderful colleagues surrounding me and an admittedly terrific faculty.  I'm not sorry I'm here--far from it.  But some days, its such a pain in the ass that I can't help but bitch.

Thanks for reading my tirade, my darlings.  I'm going out to dinner--and I'm going to have liquor!